Plus a bonus photo of Erk & Ted:
Been a bit fed up of late, no particular reason (due to there being a number of reasonable reasons IYSWIM), but fed up. Worried about Erk at school. I though it was a bad idea to begin with, but bit my tongue because at 9 I believe he does get some sort of say over where his education takes place (where practical), I’m struggling against my own natural bias towards HE, but I can categorically say that I’m rather worried about his education at school.It’s nothing to do with his teachers, they appear to be capable (and rather nice), but more to do with him and his rapidly waning enthusiasm. This is something different for us, Erk was always very enthusiastic at home and was at school (initially) but this appears to be going downhill very quickly. He’s clearly shattered when he gets in as he usually explodes and stomps off to bed. He ‘never’ has homework (rather he does, but of course he never brings it home – and I sort of see his point, but at the same time it was discussed at the time that if he decided to go to school then he had to abide by school rules – he knows what the options are and for him itÃ¢â¬â¢s home or school). He’s been fighting (?!) and he is being mouthier (than usual – he always has been a bit quick, ’tis true, but this is above and beyond and far as I’m concerned).
Of course we’ve discussed it. Of course we’ve asked whether there’s anything underlying the general disatisfaction. One teacher is persona non gratis, but we’ve explained that that in itself shouldn’t necessarily put him off (and that doing his homework would do a lot to get said teacher off his back, quite simple really)
*Anyway* I’m very very close to losing patience with it and pulling him out whether he likes it or not (perhaps that’s what he’s aiming for, to not make any decision but have it made for him – arrrrrrrgh I need to switch off the Devil’s Advocate switch in my brain). Dh is humphing because he says that my bias is getting in the way and that he worries about Erk being at home due to some rather awful fighting on the boys’ part which has resulted in us splitting them up bedroom-wise – which has seemed to improve matters a bit. The concern being that the bickering will get in the way of everything else. Anyone who knows my eldest will laugh at this as my eldest has no difficulty putting as many difficulties in his own path without the need for much aid from any of his siblings, so Erk being there makes very little difference on that front.
Erk says he wants to be home-educated but at the same time he also wants to stay at school (the reasons for school being his friends, the extra swimming lesson, science and his form tutor’s – the one he likes – jokes). No particular reason given for being at home except for the fact that he misses it and finds maths too easy and boring and he *could* see his friends after they’ve finished school for the day and at the weekend (essentially for the fun stuff). The suggestion has been that he sees it out to the end of the academic year and then decides over the summer holidays what he wants to do – but with the way things are going I’m rapidly getting to the “Bollocks to it, you’re coming out NOW!” The only thing that’s stopping me so far is dh – his other reason being that what if Erk changes his mind again and wants to go back to school, what then? It would be very disruptive to keep swinging from school to HE and back again (another arrrrgh! from me and also who gave him the crystal ball to see Erk deciding to go back to school again in the future? Perhaps he wanted to see if it was any better than last time, decided that no it isn’t and that it is HE for him all the way? Oh and whilst we’re on the subject, how about dh actually being at home long enough to have a proper discussion about it in the first place. Humph).
We are still trying to get a re-referral back to CAMHS for R. Part of me wonders why as everything I’ve heard about the local CAMHS isn’t particular positive, but we have to do *something* as he is really struggling atm. I had a support-worker-sort-of-person from an organistation that organises activities etc. for children on the autistic spectrum (and also has some supported housing for adults who need it) who is able to write a supporting letter and can apparently harrass a bit on our behalf out a couple of days ago. The plan had been to discuss some of R’s difficulties without R. being there (because really it is less stressful all round if that’s how it happens), unfortunately my MIL had an appt. come through that morning so R. could only stay for part of the time, came home and exploded. He was aware the meeting was taking place and had, eventually, voluntarily gone to MILs, but that wasn’t going to stop him going ballistic when he saw the support worker. Ho hum, I guess it just supports the re-referral really.
So rather stressed atm – and hardly surprising I feel a bit fed up.
On the plus side I’m working on a proposed ‘family learning group’ locally and will be having another meeting re. it on Wednesday and again the week after. So feeling positive about that 🙂